Senioritis is a real thing.
I apologize for the hiatus. I’ve been swamped with finishing assignments and studying for midterms all week that I really should have done over Reading Week. My expectations going into Reading Week were pretty simple: catch up on all the work I was behind on, do some research on what to do after graduation, and relax. The reality was that I spent most of the week only relaxing. The week started off with celebrating a friend’s birthday in Toronto and then a combination of oversleeping, binge-watching shows on Netflix, and frantically checking Avenue to find out if my grades had been posted in between episodes for the rest of the week. That is until Friday when I regretted all my life decisions and crammed all the work I had left to do over the weekend while wishing I had a time-turner like Hermione did in the Prisoner of Azkaban.
With Reading Week behind me, on Monday I walked into my 8:30 a.m. fourth-year seminar and realized that the only thing I had to look forward to was the end of the semester. Although I’ve wanted to graduate for a while now, now that I’m in my final year, senioritis has really hit me hard. If there was a way to find out the most talked about topic in conversations I have with others, like some sort of Google popular searches, it would be graduation. I’ve found myself constantly saying that all I want to do is just graduate and move onto the next chapter of my life. I feel unmotivated to do any work and I keep daydreaming about all the other things I could be doing instead, like looking for a job or place to live after April. Don’t get me wrong, the past four years have been anything but boring with all the program changes I’ve made and different directions my life has taken me. But, I love variety and after living and studying in the same city for the past four years, my life just seems like it’s become a mundane routine.
On a long walk around campus on a rainy day during Reading Week, I imagined how different my life could be a year from now and how different my life was when I started my undergrad at Mac in 2014. I don’t know if it was the rain or the fact that without thousands of students walking to their classes, the campus was so quiet and empty, and for the first time in years, I felt a sense of calmness rather than usual stress I feel when I’m on campus. Walking on BSB field, I started to reminisce about how excited I was to start University as a naive 17-year-old in first year. The campus that I am so familiar with was once a place that felt so big and unfamiliar. I really didn’t expect the twists and turns my life would take me on in just four years, but in many ways, I’m proud of the person I’ve become during my time at Mac.
Now that I’m in my final year, I’ve realized that I don’t have an infinite amount of time left here like I thought I did back in first year. I am reminded of my dwindling time here at Mac by a graduation countdown I created about a year ago, according to which I only have 188 days. That’s just over six months! Although I don’t have Hermione’s time-turner to go back in time, I’ve realized that I need to make the most of the time I have left by spending quality time with friends and ticking things off of my bucket list to motivate myself to overcome my senioritis. I’m not sure if this will work, but I’ll update you a few months from now!
About the Author
Manveetha Muddaluru is the blogger for the Student Success Centre’s Stories From the Arch blog for the 2018 – 2019 year.